Question 5

Question 5

What is God to me?

God is.... a father, a reason, and a watcher.

God the father:

He is the one being that will never let me down. Even in times of deepest depression i know he's there, and that he cares. He's the one that makes sure that i'm never alone.
There was this one event once, soon before i came to truly believe. I was having lots of problems with family and girlfriend and was unable to cope. I broke down in the midst of one of the worst depressions i've ever had, and lying on my bed locked in my house, i cried. I cried a lot, over many things. After a long while, i took it in my mind to consider God. God that my parents had taught me so much about, God that i learned about every week when i went to church to see my friends. Yeah, so what about God? I was desperate. But honest. Challenging everything, so...
I challenged Him. Stupid, i know, but i did.
I basically said: "hey God, i learned so much about you, but look where i am now, look what you let happen to me. If you're really there, show me. Prove it."
And he did.
Its like after i finished my challenge, my mind went blank as every problem was erased from my consciousness, and i felt an amazing, indescribable feeling of peace. The kind you only read about in books about spiritual encounters and that you never quite believe. Well, it was my turn that day.
There was no doubt from that day on that i'd been part of a miracle. Words don't do it justice, but i KNOW.
And once you've seen the truth, there's no going back. Ever.
I found a God that will never leave me, and i will never leave him.
he is, truly, a father to me.

God the reason:

God is a reason. He is a perfection that i try (miserably may i add) to achieve. He is why i live my life the way i do. He is why honesty is a key virtue in my life. In extension, he is probably one of the reasons i'm writing this text right now as well.
The funny thing is, through these texts and questions i will spare no detail whether it be good or bad about myself.
You may read these and hate me. You may read these and love me. You will probably read these and think me weird :P
But no matter what the outcome is, you will know i am honest.
As a father, he is the reason i try to live my life well, to fulfill his expectations. He is the reason why.

God the watcher.

God is also someone that always sees what i am up to, and from who i can hide nothing. Having a permanent, holy, gaze on your life does certainly stop one from indulging in many temptations.