Question 1

Question Number 1

What is the worst thing i've ever done to a person?

At first, i thought i would have a hard time answering this question, but i realized that i have done something horrible to someone in the past.
I'm not proud of it of course. Who is proud of their biggest mistake?
I broke someone's heart. And not in an easy way. Not in a progressive way.
Because i didn't want to hurt her, i pretended that everything was fine between us. I pretended, and pretended, and until the very last second i don't think she suspected how much harder it was for me to continue loving her. The long distance didn't help much of course... But i'm not going to get into why i broke up with her just yet. That would be getting off the question.
Having your heart broken by someone is never easy.
Having your heart broken when you're convinced they're going to marry you, and you were seriously planning to travel internationally to get a job where they live, and serious enough to book a plane ticket when they tell you they're going to leave...
I'm a bit ashamed of how i did it in the end. I'm ashamed of LOGIC.
I did it well. Efficiently. I told her, i consoled her, i tried to continue the friendship... I followed all the right steps (note: i did so _with_ emotion as this was very hard for me as well, it wasn't just calculations or going through the motions).
So then, why did i do it?
Again, for "the right reason". For "the future".
She was going to come to Singapore and work here, all for my sake.
I didn't know if i was capable of continuing to love her for the rest of my life, and i didn't want to ruin hers by having her come here and then breaking up eventually.
So i did "the right thing" and i broke it off before she could come, to save her pain later on.

Please, anyone who read this, tell me if that makes sense.

Expanding on the first question, i'll try to tackle the issue: "what is the worse thing you'd ever do to a person?"
Hm. I think i'm a nice enough guy and i would instinctively go for the answer "nothing". But of course the way that one thinks when one is angry or depressed is very much varied from the norm.
I don't really "do" anger or hate. I do resentment.
I do avoidance, i do disgust. I do not do gossip. I do not bring physical pain in the balance. I do not insult. I do sarcasm.
Hm, sarcasm, yes. if i need to be angry at you for whatever reason (and trust me, it is VERY dificult to get me angry :P) I will
1- avoid you to avoid problems.
I have an intrinsic and interesting ability to REALLY not be able to hold a grudge. Give me 2 days, maximum a week, and i'll be desperatly trying to fix our relationship whatever any given problem was in the past. (unless it's something REALLY huge which i've luckily yet to deal with.) So avoid you, the problem will not go away, but i will regain the will to try to fix the problem in time.
2- If i cannot avoid you, use sarcasm. No outright attacks, but i will attempt (and generally quite well) to make anything you say sound ignorant. I'm not proud of this.

Again, as mentionned earlier, it's very, very, very difficult to actually get me angry, so you'll likely never see this. But these notes are to let people know about me, even the less positive, less advertised aspects.